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fiction induced trauma

Tamil Cinema have been third parent to most of us from this generation. If not for a parent like it was for me it might have been a fun filled distant relative or their only best friend or even a role model for the rest.

Sometimes Films weren’t appropriated for its diverse audience and have even scarred a few. Censoring was a concept for the conventional by the book immoral content that were featured. But what slipped through that were certain patronising aspects that might have been acceptable in the patriarchal society back then but not very digestible for a viewer from this era.

One such scene from my childhood that I regarded very traumatising was from the film ‘Veera’.

I’d always been an ardent no questions asked fan of the actor Rajinikanth and when this film began streaming on television it brought a smile to my face but I couldn’t hold onto it. The scene was about when the Male lead narrates his plan of action to astound the female lead. He’d just about then finished a swim and had a gold fish in his pocket. The plan was he knocks at her front door while dripping wet for which she would be concerned about his health and not letting him catch a cold. She would start tending for him while he unleashes the gold fish inside her blouse which will lead to her disrobing in panic and angst of the ticklish squirming sensation. He would grasp her lustfully by exploiting this situation which would end with a love making sensation. Though this just a plan he would discuss with his friends and when put into action will not turn out the same way the movie failed to justify this.

Devi who had come to know of this while eavesdropping on their conversation about this plan would be badly hurt and will confront him. The confrontation will just reveal that she is upset that he pretended to be interested in learning music and attended classes with her father in order to become closer and win her heart. After which he repents for his mistake of being so blind about the art form and prioritising his desire for a woman. He starts avoiding devi and the usual norm sets in where she is attracted to his nonchalant behavior. Why wasn’t the almost rape or the dream rape scene ever spoken about later on in the movie or considered by audience either.

Was this how life was back in the 90’s where people were stripped down without their permission and it was acceptable. This is why I had trust issues with people adorning string bikini wear, Blouse designs and summer dresses. When I was a child I always wondered what if someone pulled the knot loose? How can people walk around so confidently?. Movie scenes such as these made me loose trust on social interaction and relationships.

It took me some time before I could make anything out of it

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பேதை நானே இன்பம் தேடி அலைந்தேனே, நீர் வீழ்ச்சியை கான வானம் எல்லை சென்றேனே.

கனவுகள் மறந்திட துயரங்கள் உணவாகி என்னை உறுக்கிட மன்னின் உயிரினங்கள் உடலை திங்க கண்டென்.